This one is for all the single ladies out there (cue Beyoncé).
I've had this one on my heart for a long time but to be honest I've just been afraid to share it. Why? I'm not really sure. I think that my fear is in people's opinions and what they might think of me or say about me. I'm ready to put that behind me and share the things that are on my heart and the things that I think others might need to hear.
I've had this one on my heart for a long time but to be honest I've just been afraid to share it. Why? I'm not really sure. I think that my fear is in people's opinions and what they might think of me or say about me. I'm ready to put that behind me and share the things that are on my heart and the things that I think others might need to hear.
So here it goes -
I've been single for quite some time now. Some days I love it and other days I absolutely hate it. It's hard being 24 and single. Heck, it's hard being any age and single. I SO often find myself angrily scrolling past engagements, weddings, fancy dates, and baby announcements on Instagram. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you all, but there's also a lot of bitterness and jealousy.
I was never the girl who wore singleness proudly. I was never the girl who confidently did things on her own and didn't bat an eye. I was the girl who would turn down hanging out with friends if I knew I'd be the only one there not in a relationship. I was the girl who felt like I HAD to be "talking" to someone. I was the girl who rolled my eyes at all the girls who were confident in their singleness. See, I was jealous of those who were in relationships and those who were not. That's not a good place to set up camp.
I've grown since then. Does that mean I don't get jealous anymore or sad? No. Does that mean that I've given up on love? No. Truthfully love is something I long so deeply for. But the growing has looked more like acceptance. I'm accepting that singleness is for me right now. I'm accepting that either I'm not ready for the man that God has for me, or he's not ready for me. I'm accepting that this time isn't a punishment but actually a blessing. I was listening to a sermon on my way to work the other day and it was a sermon about relationships, the pastor and his wife were both speaking about their own dating journey, and the pastors wife said something that really struck me. She said (not a word for word quote but something along the lines of) that she spent most of her time of singleness just waiting for a relationship so that her life could start. She mentioned how she thought that that was the one thing she needed before she could really live, and that she wished she had spent those years finding herself and figuring out who she was on her own rather than just waiting for what she thought would be something better. I don't think I realized I did this until I heard her say it. I've found that when it comes to love, it can be easy for that to become all that we think about, all that we focus on. We may not do it intentionally but because we want it so bad we just can't shake it.
(I say we hoping that maybe there's someone out there who feels the same so that I don't seem crazy!).
I've been in love once in my life so far. When our relationship ended I thought that was the end of love for me. I couldn't imagine ever feeling that way about another person and I was SURE he was the one. Even years after our breakup, I never would've admitted it, but I was still holding onto hope that maybe just maybe we'd still end up together in the end. In case you're wondering, we didn't end up together. In fact, he's married now. And the moment that I heard he was married was the moment that I decided to (finally) leave the past in the past, where it belongs, and invest in myself. No more mourning the relationships that once were or could've been, but instead focusing all my energy on loving myself. And I'm not talking about "self care" type of love. I'm talking about.. God literally molded me in His hands and chose every single aspect of my being and personality and character and why would I place all of my value in what a guy says or sees or wants. It all really came down to realizing that I had put my relationship with God on the back burner so that I could find a boyfriend.
Cause that seems like a good idea, right?
W R O N G.
You see, God knows what he's doing. He knew that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Even though I felt completely ready, I wasn't. I'm still not. Relationships are hard. They're even harder if you go into it not knowing yourself fully. It's almost impossible to love another person when you don't love yourself. Cliché, I know. But it's true.
Just because your life isn't going how you want it to, doesn't mean that it's not going anywhere at all.
Don't waste your singleness. Don't wish it away. Instead, try to start trusting God with it. I feel like when it comes to relationships we tend to keep that separate from God, because we think we know exactly what we want and need. In reality, we have no idea. Instead of investing SO much of your time on finding "the one", start investing your time into your relationship with THE ONE who holds your entire life in the palm of His hands. As hard as it is to do sometimes, when we surrender our lives over to God and give up trying to control things on our owns, that's when we truly see the blessings and the things that He has in store for us that only HE can give us.
Be encouraged and know that you are not alone in your singleness. While it can a lonely time, remember that it's not forever, and that there is a lot that comes in the waiting. Be open. Find yourself and learn to l o v e the person that God created you to be. Wear it proud, girl. Own it.
Don't waste your singleness. Don't wish it away. Instead, try to start trusting God with it. I feel like when it comes to relationships we tend to keep that separate from God, because we think we know exactly what we want and need. In reality, we have no idea. Instead of investing SO much of your time on finding "the one", start investing your time into your relationship with THE ONE who holds your entire life in the palm of His hands. As hard as it is to do sometimes, when we surrender our lives over to God and give up trying to control things on our owns, that's when we truly see the blessings and the things that He has in store for us that only HE can give us.
Be encouraged and know that you are not alone in your singleness. While it can a lonely time, remember that it's not forever, and that there is a lot that comes in the waiting. Be open. Find yourself and learn to l o v e the person that God created you to be. Wear it proud, girl. Own it.
