Day 31 of quarantine:
By now, we all can probably agree, that these are weird times.
The last 31 days have been the slowest and also the fastest. I know that we have all been asked to stay home, which is honestly not that hard, or at least it shouldn't be. Every day throughout this whole pandemic I have been trying very hard to gauge my emotions. All over social media we see everyone sharing things like, "it's okay to feel what you're feeling!" and I have even been the one to post that same thing. If I'm being honest.. I don't know what I have been feeling. As the days go by I feel like I am living inside a cloud. Inside a cloud of fog. I can't see what is ahead of me, and I've lost sight of everything behind me. Some days I am scared. Some days I'm anxious and sad. Some days I am incredibly lonely. Some days I feel happy. I don't think I have felt one solid lasting emotion at all over the last 31 days.
I think overwhelmed is a good word to use.
So what do you do in these times? What do you do with all these feelings? These are the things I have been asking myself every single day. Some days I wake up with a lot of ambition and motivation for the day, and other days i wake up and can barely pull myself up out of bed. it's weird. And I'm not writing this to bring everyone down. I just felt compelled to share my feelings because maybe you're feeling the same. This isn't forever.. but it is our right now. There's no escaping the reality we are living in. I personally feel like I am learning a lot about myself during this time. Maybe a lot more than I ever wanted to know haha. I'm trying to find the good in that though. Taking this as a chance to better myself. Letting my true colors come out to be seen by only me (and my parents...sorry guys). I was thinking the other day about how I quickly grew to dread my long commute to and from work because sometimes it was just too much time left with my own thoughts and emotions. Most of the time I would try to FaceTime or call a friend so that I wouldn't be "alone". That was totally me at the beginning of this quarantine. I was talking to friends almost the entire day. And then, as we all got a little more adjusted in this, the FaceTime calls kind of dwindled and we all got busy doing our own things. I think that sometimes it's good for us to be alone with our own thoughts and emotions, as uncomfortable as it is, it forces us to deal with them. To face them. To feel them. To embrace them. And I think that is what this time is about. It's not about how productive we can be during this time.. but rather how we can better ourselves. What habits can we change. What emotions can we confront. What relationships can we grow. How we can be better human beings to each other.
It's okay if you don't reorganize your entire house during this. It's okay if you don't start and/or finish a project. It's okay if you don't change your hair. It's okay if you don't create content every single day. It's okay if all you do today, or this week, is slowly sip your coffee and listen to music or watch an entire season/series on Netflix.
Everyone is saying it but I'm going to say it again. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle. Don't push yourself if you don't have to. Feel. Cry if you have to. Dance around your house. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Go for a walk. Sit on your porch and watch the rain. It's okay, it's all going to be okay.
By now, we all can probably agree, that these are weird times.
The last 31 days have been the slowest and also the fastest. I know that we have all been asked to stay home, which is honestly not that hard, or at least it shouldn't be. Every day throughout this whole pandemic I have been trying very hard to gauge my emotions. All over social media we see everyone sharing things like, "it's okay to feel what you're feeling!" and I have even been the one to post that same thing. If I'm being honest.. I don't know what I have been feeling. As the days go by I feel like I am living inside a cloud. Inside a cloud of fog. I can't see what is ahead of me, and I've lost sight of everything behind me. Some days I am scared. Some days I'm anxious and sad. Some days I am incredibly lonely. Some days I feel happy. I don't think I have felt one solid lasting emotion at all over the last 31 days.
I think overwhelmed is a good word to use.
So what do you do in these times? What do you do with all these feelings? These are the things I have been asking myself every single day. Some days I wake up with a lot of ambition and motivation for the day, and other days i wake up and can barely pull myself up out of bed. it's weird. And I'm not writing this to bring everyone down. I just felt compelled to share my feelings because maybe you're feeling the same. This isn't forever.. but it is our right now. There's no escaping the reality we are living in. I personally feel like I am learning a lot about myself during this time. Maybe a lot more than I ever wanted to know haha. I'm trying to find the good in that though. Taking this as a chance to better myself. Letting my true colors come out to be seen by only me (and my parents...sorry guys). I was thinking the other day about how I quickly grew to dread my long commute to and from work because sometimes it was just too much time left with my own thoughts and emotions. Most of the time I would try to FaceTime or call a friend so that I wouldn't be "alone". That was totally me at the beginning of this quarantine. I was talking to friends almost the entire day. And then, as we all got a little more adjusted in this, the FaceTime calls kind of dwindled and we all got busy doing our own things. I think that sometimes it's good for us to be alone with our own thoughts and emotions, as uncomfortable as it is, it forces us to deal with them. To face them. To feel them. To embrace them. And I think that is what this time is about. It's not about how productive we can be during this time.. but rather how we can better ourselves. What habits can we change. What emotions can we confront. What relationships can we grow. How we can be better human beings to each other.
It's okay if you don't reorganize your entire house during this. It's okay if you don't start and/or finish a project. It's okay if you don't change your hair. It's okay if you don't create content every single day. It's okay if all you do today, or this week, is slowly sip your coffee and listen to music or watch an entire season/series on Netflix.
Everyone is saying it but I'm going to say it again. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle. Don't push yourself if you don't have to. Feel. Cry if you have to. Dance around your house. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Go for a walk. Sit on your porch and watch the rain. It's okay, it's all going to be okay.
